Monday, October 14, 2013

The Cat’s Fore-life


                                              

The cat caught glimpses of her fore-life flashing past her dizzy head as she lay, half-conscious, on the roadside after being hit by a motor bike. Fortunately, the bike wasn’t running too fast. Her eyes zoomed in and out of focus trying to sink in the gravity of her mishap. Faces of a few people and a dog blurred uncomfortably upon her vision. Someone picked her up and carried her towards the smell of fried maththi, her favourite fish. Several other flavours bombarded her nostrils and she realized that she was being carried towards the place where two-legged creatures come to eat. She used to frequent the place for left-overs. Soon a bowl of cold milk was brought and kept beside her. She drank the milk and looked up at the only face, less blurred, now remaining beside her. Her brain sneezed a bit and she caught a few more, this time more vivid, glimpses of her past life. She brushed the legs of her benefactor in gratitude and limped slowly towards the shade of a badaam tree. Sleep overcame her and the scenes of her past life became clearer in the cat’s dreams.
 
The cat was now walking on two legs, carrying a bucket full of washed clothes. I am not sure whether the cat was aware of gender differences among the humans as it was evident from the dream that the cat was a ‘he’ in her fore-life. Coming back to the dream, as he approached the clothesline, a big black and white cat purred from a nearby jasmine bush. He looked at the cat for a moment before laying the clothes on the line and clipping them so that they won’t get blown away by the wind. The sky was dark and rain was apparent according to the weather forecast. After finishing his chore, he went inside his room; apparently, it was a temporary lodging. A few books lay open on an old wooden table whose legs were carved in to look fancy. The plastic wired wooden chair had a small hole where the butt sank. An old single-cot bed and a cloth-stand completed the furniture collection of his room. Everything was kept in an orderly fashion. Even the cat couldn’t help herself from noticing it. “Waa waa waa waa…”, the cat opened her eyes to a passing ambulance’s siren. She looked around and found herself under the badaam tree.
 
Evening closed in on her pretty quickly, and she readied herself for dinner-hunting. A nearby girls’ hostel was her favourite hunting spot. There was always food and some of the girls caressed her while others shooed her away. She got to eat the remains of some fish off their bones. On her way back to her night spot she felt better and a little sleepy. While crossing an unpaved mud lane the yellow light from the headlights of a passing car pierced her sight. She shook herself and strutted towards her destination. A semi-tree sized white cheththi, in full bloom, loomed over the cat as she settled herself beneath it. There were white little flowers on the ground, and those that remained on the tree in bunches spread their mild fragrance all around. The cat remembered the time when she was in labour with her first group of kittens. It was on a hot summer night, under a rose chempakam. She was screeching in pain as each of the three kittens came out into the world. Above her, the dark rose-coloured chempaka blossoms wove a beautiful see-through roof, through which the stars and the sickle-shaped moon were visible. They became a blurry sight as the cat’s eyes drooped and she fell asleep under the cheththi.
 
A flash of yellow light, more yellow lights. He was passing through a busy street full of people buying things, selling things, waiting for buses or taxis or customers. After placing his order he was standing idly in front of the thattukada. A middle-aged woman alluringly smiled at him from a nearby tea stall. He looked at the woman for a few seconds and felt his heart throbbing faster than the usual pace. Just then, his order of a plate of porotta and chicken curry was handed over to him by the thattukada proprietor. He moved away from the people waiting for their orders, and found a place to sit on a bench. His eyes searched the nearby tea stall. The woman was talking to a man, and soon she left with him in his car. The throbbing heart returned to its normal pace and he returned to his plate of porotta. A stray dog stood waiting beside the stall until someone threw a bone towards it. People disappeared after buying things, selling things, catching buses or taxis or customers.
 
He was in his room now, reading a book. A thud on the door and he went to open it. A man was lying on the floor, muttering things. He helped the man get up and carried him along the corridor to another room. He knocked and a sleepy face opened the door. After leaving the drunken man with his friend he returned to his room, felt tired, and went to sleep.
 
Cold water drops awakened the cat from her sleep. She looked around and saw a little girl with a bowl of water in her hand. The girl dropped the bowl and got on the swing hanging from the cheththi. The swing swayed to and fro as the girl accelerated its speed using her little feet. A few more cheththi blossoms fell on the ground. The cat stared at the swinging girl for some time and felt dizzy as her head was following the to and fro motion of the swing. “Moley”, a voice called from inside the house and the girl’s swinging stopped and she ran towards her house. The cat’s eyes followed the running girl until she disappeared inside her house. A mouth-watering aroma of chicken stew emanated from the house and the cat ran towards it in great anticipation.
 
An hour passed since the aroma disturbed the cat’s olfactory senses. She sat patiently on the kitchen step waiting for someone to notice her. After some time, the little girl appeared with a small piece of chicken and threw it at the cat. The cat pounced upon the small chicken piece and finished it off in a matter of seconds. She looked up to see if the girl was willing to part with more chicken but she was already gone.
 
Children were going to school when the cat reached the road leading to the junction. Buses ran fast through the highway, carrying the rush hour passengers going to schools, colleges, and offices. The fish market was buzzing with people buying fresh fish when the cat reached the badaam tree. The old lady who daily fed the cat with a free fish was not to be seen anywhere. The cat searched the market for the friendly face. A young man selling fish shooed her away as she approached his station. The cat moved away from him and meowed in latent anticipation. She waited for some time for the old face to appear among the fish sellers. Time passed and the market started becoming less crowded again. People were returning home after picking their favourite fishes. After waiting in vain for hours, the cat returned to her usual hangout under the badaam tree.
 
It was noon when the cat finally got something to eat. She was visiting the backyard of a hotel when one of the kitchen hands threw away some left-overs. She found a few fish bones and chicken scraps. After licking the bones clean, the cat retreated to her sanctuary under the badaam tree. Her eyes were gleaming as she curled up for a catnap. Flashes of her past life returned the moment she dozed off under the afternoon sun. This time a noose was hanging from the ceiling of a strange room. It was dark and he trembled as he raised himself on a chair before reaching for the noose. He put his trembling head inside the noose and closed his eyes. His legs panicked and feigned numbness. But the chair betrayed him by slipping off from under his shaky legs. Suffocation. He couldn’t breathe. The cat grabbed her neck with her front paws and tried to breathe. She writhed and screeched breathless on the gravel. The badaam tree spread its shade over the breathless cat.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

ഗവേഷണ വിദ്യാര്‍ഥി

ഇന്ടക്ഷന്‍ കുക്കറില്‍ കാപ്പിക്ക് വെള്ളം വെചൂ
ഒരു ഗവേഷണ വിദ്യാര്‍ഥി.
വെള്ളം തിളച്ചപ്പോള്‍ കാപ്പിപ്പൊടി യില്ല;
കടയില്‍ ചെന്നപ്പോള്‍ കട തുറന്നിട്ടുമില്ല.
അടഞ്ഞ കടക്കു മുന്നില്‍ നിന്നുകൊണ്ട്
കുടിക്കാനിരുന്ന കാപ്പിയെ ധ്യാനിച്ച്‌,
ഒരിറ്റു ഉമിനീരിറക്കി വിദ്യാര്‍ഥി.

Long Lost Child

A wind chime whistling its song
for a long lost child.
The child,
lost in a desert of people.
Wherever you look you see only faces;
their eyes telling tales
of their brief encounters
with the long lost child.
So many tales,
baffling you,
challenging you
to solve the puzzle of the long lost child.
By the time you solve it,
the wind chime would have stopped its song;
And the child, lost forever. 

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Gulmohar

Blooming red gulmohar,
adorning my way
to love and other mistakes.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

വേനല്ചൂട്

ചുറ്റിലും മരങ്ങള്‍;
കാറ്റ് എങ്ങുമില്ല;
വേനല്‍ച്ചൂടില്‍ ആവിയായി ഒരു പുഴയും ഞാനും.

ഹിറ്റ്‌

കരണത്ത് അടിയേറ്റ് ഒരു പൂവാലന്‍;
ചുറ്റിലും മൊബൈല്‍ ക്യാമറക്കണ്ണുകള്‍.;
സംഗതി യൂടുബില്‍ ഹിറ്റ്‌......

ചെമ്പരത്തിപ്പൂവിന്റെ പ്രണയം

ഒരു ചെമ്പരത്തിപ്പൂവിന്റെ പ്രണയം അവസാനിച്ചത്‌
ഒരുകുടം താളിയിലാണ്. 

ശില്പി

വഴിയരികില്‍ക്കിടന്ന മിഠായി കടലാസുകള്‍ പെറുക്കിയെടുത്തു അവകൊണ്ട് മനുഷ്യരൂപങ്ങള്‍ ഉണ്ടാക്കിയപ്പോള്‍ അവനൊരിക്കലും  കരുതിയില്ല താനൊരു ശില്പിയാകുമെന്നു. നഗരത്തിലെ ഏതോ ഒരു ജിമ്നെയ്ഷിയത്തില്‍ മനുഷ്യരൂപങ്ങള്‍ ആവശ്യാനുസരണം വാര്ത്തെടുക്കുമ്പോള്‍ അവന്‍ കണ്ടു, പണ്ട് താനുണ്ടാക്കിയ ആ രൂപങ്ങളെ. 

ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍

നാളുകള്‍ ഭൂതകാലത്തില്‍ മറയുമ്പോള്‍,
വീണുടഞ്ഞു തെറിച്ച ഒരു കണ്ണാടി ചീളിലൂടെ ഞാന്‍ കണ്ടു,
എന്റെ ചിതറിത്തെറിച്ച ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍.
എനിക്ക് പിന്നാലെ അവ പാഞ്ഞു വന്നു;
ഞാന്‍ മരവിച്ചു നിന്നുപോയി.

എഴുത്തുകാരി

വാക്കുകള്‍ ആകുന്ന പുഴയിലൂടെ ഒരു ജീര്‍ണിച്ച ശരീരം ഒഴുകിവന്നു.
ആരാണവള്‍?
ഞാനോ അതോ നീയോ?
പോലീസിനെന്തെങ്കിലും തുമ്പ്?
ഇല്ല?
എങ്കില്‍ എനിക്കറിയാം;
അവളാണ് എഴുത്തുകാരി.
എഴുതിയെഴുതി പരാജയപ്പെട്ടപ്പോള്‍ ജീവനൊടുക്കി. 

ചിരിക്കാനുള്ള കാരണം

ചിരിക്കാനായി കാരണം വേണമെന്ന് അവന്‍ പറഞ്ഞു;
വേണ്ടെന്നു ഞാനും.
ഒടുവില്‍ എന്റെ ചിരി അസഹ്യമായപ്പോള്‍,
നടന്നകലുന്ന കല്പ്രതിമയായ് അവന്‍.....;
അപ്പോഴും ഞാന്‍ ചിരിച്ചുകൊണ്ടെയിരുന്നു.
.

The Poet

The poet lies
In the womb
Of his assassin.   

Hungry Child

The hungry child
Made everyone cry
By smiling vaguely. 

Happy Child

The happy child
Made everyone smile
By crying cutely.

Dots of Life

The dots of life,
Joined in a sequence
Of uneventful pauses.

The famous 'kozhikkotta' story

Once upon a time there lived an Appooppan and an Ammoomma in a village. They were so old that they were always quarrelling with each other like children. One day a distant relative invited them for his daughter's marriage. As they had chickens and cattle to look after Appooppan decided to go alone. Ammoomma was left alone with the chickens and cattle. Appooppan reached the mandapam where the marriage was taking place. Everything went well. During sadya they served Kozhikkotta. Appooppan was tasting kozhikkotta for the first time and he loved it.

Before going back he asked someone, "Mone, what is the name of that big round dish?".

"Oh! Appooppa, that is called kozhikkotta. You don't have that in your place?"

"Illa mone. We don't have that. I have to go now. It was a really good sadya."

Appooppan said good bye to all and started his journey back. On the way back he kept repeating the name of the dish to himself so that he wouldn't forget it before he reached home. He wanted to ask Ammoomma to make kozhikkotta for him. While trying to concentrate on repeating the name Appooppan failed to notice a huge pit and fell inside it. By the time he got out of the pit he had forgotten the dish’s name. He tried hard but couldn't recall anything. By evening he reached home and Ammoomma was sitting in the courtyard waiting for him.

"Hey manushya, where were you all this time?" Ammoomma was in a bad mood.

Appooppan didn't like his wife's question. "Di kizhavi, don't try to boss over me, ha."

Ammoomma went into the kitchen muttering so that Appooppan would not start over again. She put a pot filled with water on the aduppu. As she was busy making tea for Appooppan she did not see him entering the kitchen.

“Edi, I want you to make me ‘that thing’ which they served during the sadya.” Appooppan told Ammoomma as he entered the kitchen.

Ammoomma was stirring the boiling water after putting tea leaves. She turned towards Appooppan after taking the pot off the stove. “What did you say, manushya? I didn’t hear you”, she said.

“I said I want you to make that thing which they served during the sadya”. Appooppan stood savouring the taste of the big round dish in his memory.

Meanwhile Ammoomma remained clueless as to what he was saying. She looked at Appooppan and said, “I will, if you tell me the name of the dish”.

“It’s that big round thing. It’s so delicious. Make it fast, will you?” Appooppan was losing his patience.

“What? Doesn’t it have a name? There are so many big round things. Which one do you want? Ente manushya, tell me its name”. Now Ammoomma also started losing her patience.

“Didn’t I tell you? It’s that thing which I ate at the marriage”.

“How can I know what you ate there?” Ammoomma had already stood up from her kitchen stool and was walking towards the back yard when Appooppan stopped her.

“Are you going to make it or not?” He yelled.

“I said I will, if you tell me its name”. Ammoomma’s voice sounded irritated. She didn’t get much time to think before Appooppan’s hand fell on her back with a ‘ddhappe’ sound; then a few more ddhappes. Ammoomma was crying loudly. She started cursing Appooppan.

“Ayyo, ente manushya... why are you beating me? You have changed my back into a kozhikkotta. Ayyooooo…” Ammoomma was crying. Appooppan suddenly stopped beating her. He smiled a little.

“Aaa..athu thanne. That is what I was talking about. Kozhikkotta. Edi kizhavi, make me some kozhikkotta”.


Ammoomma’s eyes were swollen with tears and anger. “Edo manushya,” (tears refused to fall down her cheeks) “why did you have to beat me like that for a kozhikkotta?” Saying this Ammoomma turned towards the kitchen shelf in search of flour to make Appooppan his ‘kozhikkootta’. Later that night Appooppan sang his heart out after eating all the seven kozhikkoottas that Ammoomma made for him and happily died a peaceful death. Ammoomma went on living a new life with no more ‘edi kizhavi’ calls and no more ‘kozhikkoottas’. People often said that they saw Ammoomma singing the latest folk song near the big tamarind tree on the hilltop.

I am Medusa

I am Medusa,
The one with the stone gaze.
You look into my eyes
And turn into stones;
Stone statues that once breathed the fire of life.
You cease to breathe;
Yet you do not die.
You are just statues
Reminding me of a cursed life,
A life that is doomed to eternal solitude.
The serpents adorning my head make me twitch;
Fear oozing down my spine;
Crawling creatures hissing in my ears,
Never letting me sleep.
You say you fear me;
I say I fear myself.
I wish I could turn myself into a stone.


Funny Ways

Funny, the way we all live.
Smiling at each other,
Hoping for the other to vanish.
Groping in the darkness,
I lit the candle;
You ‘foooo’ed,
Candle light died.
I smiled;
You stabbed me
Because you didn’t see me smile
In the darkness.
Funny, the way we all die.

Dying Love

The black curtains,
fluttering in the cold monsoon breeze,
put an end to my life’s act.
My own heart,
ripped open to let my love known,
bled away into a lifeless world.
As I lay dying
on the grass mat,
a pool of cold blood
bathed me in all its gory glory.


Changing Times : Leaves



A leaf. Someone fell in love with a leaf. I don't know whether the someone was a he or a she. Even the leaf's gender I can't say for sure. But I think leaves are gender neutral, aren't they? It's just an assumption. If leaves had gender I would have done gender studies on them. The one who fell in love with a leaf called me two days back. It was a voice that sounded both feminine and masculine. I told the voice to call me later because I was busy. I was not interested in the voice until it told me of the leaf.

“Where is the leaf?” I asked.

“In the garden”, it said.

“Whose garden?”  

“My garden.”

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Nobody”, it said.

“Nobody can't fall in love until he or she is somebody”, I said.

“Then I'm somebody.”

“Which somebody?” I asked.

“The somebody who fell in love with a leaf.”

“Is this leaf a boy or a girl?”  

“Why do you care?”

“I don't care”, I said.

“Good.”

“Goodbye”, I said. Silence...leafy silence...A breeze turning into a wind and then into a storm. Leaves leaves everywhere except on the trees. The open windows invited them inside. They entered my house, the leaves. Some sat on the sofa waiting for me to speak. I still had the receiver glued to my ear listening to the leafy silence.

“Are you going to give us some tea?” the oldest looking leaf asked.

“No”, I said.

“Why?”

“Because leaves don't drink tea.”

“That ‘somebody’ fell in love with one of us”, it said.

“So?”

“Things are changing.”

“I can see that”, I said.

“Then bring the tea.”

“No.”

“Why?” it asked.

“I don't drink tea”, I said. Cold hostile leafy silence in my living room. Another breeze wind storm. A sea of leaves enveloped me and hissed into my ears... ‘Times are changing kid. We are leaving your garden. From now on you will always have autumn in your yard’...Cold unleafy silence in my living room. I looked out the window. There was no more a garden. I realized...leaves make gardens. Today the voice called again.

“I got married”, it said.

“To the leaf?” I asked.

“No.”

“Congratulations.”


“Thank you”, it said. Silence within me. Not leafy. What happened to the leaf? I thought things were changing. My eyes walked across the room. The curtains parted to let me look out the window. The garden. I could see it.  

Lives Unseen

Lives unseen by the ancestors;
Lived by the ghosts of their posterity.