Spring came.
I went to the garden to water the roses;
Roses blooming with roses of all colours.
He liked the yellow one, I stuck to the traditional red rose.
''Your tastes are primitive'', he told me.
"Is it?", I asked in my mind and outwardly just smiled.
His arms reached me from behind my waist;
My left cheek felt his unshaved face.
The water-can lost its grip on my right arm,
And fell down with a clunk.
so powerful...
ReplyDeletethe instant image that comes to my mind is the title of your blog. 'wingless bird' - yes it doesn't have wings, so what? it has it's beaks and more powerfully it's claws.
ReplyDelete'the water-can lost its grip on my RIGHT arm,
and fell down with a clunk' this sound ringers in my mind, however, it's the positional imagery in your poem that has impressed me.
see, right arm and the left cheek. to your(persona's) left the man stands fondling as well as criticising and to your right is the plant the persona's watering. the bi polar directions may signify the different worlds a man and woman live,act,work and perceive in. this positional imagery has only intensed the sense that the previous lines have tried to convey.
it was subtle and powerfu! expecting more!